It Gets Better Gets Better

Dan Savage's "It Gets Better" was the noble project of the day yesterday. It still is today. One of his readers also touts the therapeutic value of Stephen Fry's letter to his younger self of 35 years ago. It, too, is noble and good, and uplifting. It is important to remember, for example, that

Gay people sometimes believe (to this very day, would you credit it, young Stephen?) that the preponderance of obstacles and terrors they encounter in their lives and relationships is intimately connected with the fact of their being gay. As it happens at least 90% of their problems are to do with love and love alone: the lack of it, the denial of it, the inequality of it, the missed reciprocity in it, the horrors and heartaches of it. Love cold, love hot, love fresh, love stale, love scorned, love missed, love denied, love betrayed ... the great joke of sexuality is that these problems bedevil straight people just as much as gay. The 10% of extra suffering and complexity that uniquely confronts the gay person is certainly not incidental or trifling, but it must be understood that love comes first.

And if Fry's letter is like a comforting blanket, there's a letter from the Master himself that's more akin to a bucket of cold water thrown at the face. He knows, better than most, that love is irrational, and causes you to do the most ridiculous things - to risk your fortune, to risk your freedom, to risk your health, to risk your happiness, to debase yourself, to immolate yourself, to jeopardize if not give away outright the better part of yourself.

May it always be so.